


Just Tell Him

by memelovescaps



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Mentioned Bill Potts, POV Thirteenth Doctor, Romance, Soft Twelfth Doctor, Thirteenth Doctor Era, Twelfth Doctor Era, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memelovescaps/pseuds/memelovescaps
Summary: Glasgow, 2020.The Thirteenth Doctor and the fam are trying to get away from the cold, and when they get into a coffee shop they bump into someone they did not expect, the Doctor least of all.Or,What would happen if the Thirteenth Doctor bumped into Clara?
Relationships: The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Clara Oswin Oswald, Thirteenth Doctor & Clara Oswin Oswald, Twelfth Doctor & Clara Oswin Oswald, Twelfth Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald
Comments: 12
Kudos: 108





	Just Tell Him

**Author's Note:**

> Hello dear readers!  
> I'm back with a Doctor Who story!  
> I've been catching up with the latest seasons of Doctor Who (just finished season 11), and despite liking Thirteen, I've been in love with Peter Capaldi's doctor and Whouffaldi for years. Couldn't resist writing this!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

“I don’t know why you brought us here in the middle of winter, Doctor! It’s freezing!” Ryan complained, pulling his coat more around himself, his teeth chattering. 

He looked around for support, but both Graham and Yaz were silent, their eyes unfocused and their jaws clenched. It was indeed cold.

“Come on, Ryan, it’s just a bit of cold!” the Doctor exclaimed, his cheerful and energetic voice cutting through the freezing wind “oh, look, a coffee shop. I used to come here a long time ago!” the Doctor stopped in front of the door and looked up at the poster sign, remembering with fondness how often she came here when she had another face, another body, and another companion by his side “come on, let’s get inside! Have a coffee and warm up a bit…”

She pushed the front door, smiling delightfully at the bell jangling and her eyes falling on the tables scattered around the room. She inhaled and closed her eyes, letting the smell of freshly brewed coffee enter her nostrils. The last time she had been here, she had another body and someone else besides her, and she hadn’t wanted to return. Too many memories.

Once inside the Doctor could hear relieved sighs behind her, she scolded herself mentally for not taking into account how fragile and sensitive to cold humans really are. She didn’t think it was colder than any other times she had been to this part of the country, but maybe she was wrong. Superior Time Lord biology.

“Doctor, the place is full” Yaz warned her as she was scanning the place with her keen police eyes. Indeed, the tables were packed with patrons sipping their coffees or teas; some of them even had their laptops with them and were typing almost manically, probably college students rushing to get their assignment done on time. The Doctor, however, smiled and gestured with her head towards the back of the room.

“Those tables are never taken” she whispered. Yaz looked behind her and saw, behind a barely closed curtain, three tables, much taller than the others and with no chairs or stools “we won’t be able to sit down but at least we can rest a bit. Go, I’ll take your orders”

However, as she was about to turn around and walk towards the counter, something crashed against her, blocking her path.

“Omf sorry” came the voice of a brunette who’d bumped into her, a strangely familiar voice.

The Doctor was quick to put her hand on the woman’s shoulder to steady her before she fell to the floor, noticing that she’d splashed almost all her coffee all over herself. She was wearing a dark jumper, so the stain didn’t call too much attention, but the smell did.

“No,  _ I  _ am sorry” the Doctor answered, gesturing to her clothes “you’ve got coffee all over you”

“It’s alright, don’t worry” said the woman, shaking her head and looking up at her.

When their eyes locked, the Doctor’s hearts stopped working and her eyes widened. At first, she hadn’t recognized the voice, it had seemed achingly familiar but she hadn’t wanted to believe. She’d dismissed the fleeting thought as just a memory, a woman’s voice that resembled so much that of her former companion and it brought memories of her. Now, however, here she was, challenging her to prove that those were indeed just memories.

_ Clara _ .

“It can’t be” she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief, her eyes impossibly wide and her eyebrows raised to her forehead.

“What can’t be?” Clara asked, raising an eyebrow in an expression she’d seen a lot on himself with his previous incarnation. She’d started to take up his habits and mannerisms.

_ Impossible. _

Clara was exactly as she remembered. Short and brown-haired, with a round, beautiful face. Her lips looked fuller than what she remembered, but her big brown eyes were as warm as ever. She noticed her hearts starting to beat at a faster pace; she had never believed those eyes would look at her ever again. Yet, here she was. Looking at her. Smiling up at her, her cheeks creating the dimples she so adored, because they meant she was happy and smiling. So close, she could touch her as if nothing had happened between them.

But of course, it had. 

“Nothing” she said shaking her head and offering a kind smile, trying to dispel those thoughts. She couldn’t let her know who she was. She gestured at the counter with her arms “come on, let me get you another coffee. You’ve got yours all over you”

She started to walk decisively towards the counter, feeling Clara’s presence behind her, and asked for the drinks for her friends and a couple of lattes. She made sure one of them had extra whipped cream as she remembered Clara liked them.

It felt surreal. Clara, her amazing, impossible Clara was by her side again. Her mind tried to warn her that it was dangerous, that if she was here then  _ he  _ was here as well and it was dangerous to mix two Doctors on two separate time streams at the same place. Not that she’d never done that before, she’d actually met his first face right before regenerating into her current body, but it was still dangerous to mess with her own timelines.

She started to wonder how on earth the TARDIS had brought them to exactly this place and time, knowing they had previously been there. She initially thought they were in 2020, feeling there would be no danger to set foot on Glasgow again at that time of year, but it turns out her blasted time machine had other plans.

She was aware she should pull away from Clara, she should just pay for her coffee, offer her apologies and let her go to her own Doctor. But it had been so long, her loss had been so painful, the years he’d spent without the memories of her in her mind so empty… 

Once he got her memories back, he’d considered looking for her. To try to find her in her TARDIS diner with Lady Me, to get a glimpse of her one more time… and now, she was here. She wasn’t strong enough to resist. 

The Doctor took the drinks and passed the latte with extra whipped cream to Clara with a smile, taking the rest and bringing them to their friends, who were standing near the tables at the back of the room, waiting for her.

Clara followed her, although she could’ve very well said her thanks and left. The Doctor felt a chill spread throughout her body when Clara stopped behind her, allowing her time to give out the drinks to her friends. The Doctor did, not really paying attention to whom he was giving what and avoiding their eyes until she took her drink and walked a couple of paces away from them. She wanted some privacy. 

“So what’s your name?” she asked, bringing the carton cup to her lips.

Clara took a sip of her coffee, closing her eyes in delight as he tasted the whipped cream. She looked at her with amusement in her eyes.

“You know my name, Doctor. You can drop the pretence”

The Doctor’s mouth opened wide and then closed with a pop.

“You... you recognize me?” she asked with incredulity. 

“Of course I do” she answered, her smile going wider “you forget I scattered myself in your timeline. I’ve seen all your faces; past, present and future” she took a step forward and her warm, small hand went towards her face, cupping her cheek “including this one”

The contact felt electrifying. She, who so often shied away from body contact and whose previous incarnation had needed months of steady work with Clara to be comfortable enough with hugs and simple displays of affection, leaned into her touch. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath in. Clara’s hands were small and warm, exactly as her mind remembered them, as her memories told her she’d been when alive when her heartbeat was pulsating through her veins with steadiness and strength. As it was doing now. She was  _ alive _ and with him, her other self; she was exactly where she was meant to be. 

Tears welled up in her eyes but she willed them down and gulped, not wanting to let them roll down her cheeks.

“My Clara...” she whispered, her voice breaking at her name. Her northern accent sounded very different from the gruff Scottish accent Clara was used to hearing, and even more different than the nice southern accent bowtie-her had had before. And yet, the sentiment was the same. The warmth in her hearts was the same. The tenderness in Clara’s caress, in the way her small fingers cupped her cheek and the way her thumb stroked the bags under her eyes; everything was the same. 

“Are you alright, Doc?”

At the sound of Graham’s voice the Doctor took a step back, already missing Clara’s warmth. But it felt wrong. She didn’t understand why, but she felt like she’d been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing. Clara and she (he?) had been incredibly close, but now, with this new face, this new body, and her travelling companions... she felt odd. She felt like she’d betrayed Clara, like she’d betrayed her memory by changing what he had been, by welcoming other companions in the TARDIS. She looked down at the floor for a moment, sighing.

“Of course” she said, clearing her throat and looking up at her friends “Graham, Yaz, Ryan, this is Clara. Clara, these are my friends.”

“Nice to meet you, Clara” said Yaz, and Graham and Ryan both greeted her with a nod of their heads and a smile.

“Nice to meet you too” she answered, smiling to the group. She then looked at the Doctor, her eyes warming at the sight of her “I’m glad you've taken up new travelling companions, Doctor!”

“I was alone for a while. It didn’t work out” she admitted, her mind thinking briefly of her brave student Bill, and the great banter they had together. How fierce and loyal that girl had been.

“We both know you’re pretty rubbish at being alone” Clara joked, but her smile was sad.

The Doctor was glad to be able to decipher her expressions more easily in this new body. Her previous incarnation had had difficulty in reading human expressions and feelings, particularly those of Clara’s. Those had been a remaining mystery to her previous self. 

This Clara was happy and sad at the same time. Her eyes shone brightly but they were, as she remembered herself saying, “inflated”, so very big and glassy. She knew because she felt the same. She felt exhilarated at having Clara by her side again, wanting nothing more than to pull her in a hug; it had been far too long without her hugs. Those that could heal his shattered soul with just an embrace and a few sweet words, those that could, at least temporarily, make him think he wasn’t wearing the weight of the entire universe on his shoulders.

Clara was happy and sad. The Doctor sensed her eyes going from her to her friends, observing the light banter between Graham and Ryan, and the sweet glances between Ryan and Yaz. Her lips had a sad smile on them, and despite still finding it a sort of malfunction in her, she knew why she was feeling that way. She probably had worked out that her days with her own Doctor were numbered.

“So where’s he anyway?” she asked, taking a step closer to Clara almost without thinking. He didn’t need to call him by name.

Clara’s face scrunched up a bit.

“Being an insufferable, stubborn idiot” she answered, and the Doctor recognized that fire in her eyes “he didn’t want to take me to get a coffee, said it was too boring, so -” 

“So you wandered off on your own” the Doctor finished for her “you know he’ll be mad when you get back, I always say, never wander off!”

“Yeah, and what would’ve happened if I didn’t wander off at Caledonian 4? Remember that?”

The Doctor fell silent for a second, and then laughed, patting Clara on her shoulders amicably. Clara smiled mischievously.

“Point taken” she said with a smile, once she could keep her laughter under control.

“And anyway, it’s me who should be mad. I was just asking for a coffee, a mere coffee! It’s not that much, is it, guys?” Clara asked the Doctor’s companions for support, but they just looked at her with confusion before nodding, not really knowing what they were agreeing with.  _ I’ll have to explain this later  _ the Doctor thought, glancing back at them before her eyes went to Clara again. She couldn’t stop staring at her, drinking in the sight of her, moving irresistibly closer to her.

The Doctor smiled and nodded.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve learnt from you” she said, gesturing the coffees her friends were nursing, trying to warm up their hands.

“Thank god travelling with me got something into your big, mighty Time Lordy brain” Clara joked, smiling.

The Doctor smiled too, stopping just for a split second to think, to consider the risks. She knew that what she was about to do was wrong on so many levels, but she couldn’t help herself. She put her coffee down on the table next to Clara’s and in a swift movement caught her in her arms, pulling her against her body. She heard her surprise gasp but didn’t resist the embrace as she pressed the petite woman against her chest, her short but quite strong arms surrounding her almost immediately, her small hand pressing against her back.

“Clara... my impossible Clara...” she whispered, hiding half her face against her hair, smelling it. She hadn’t forgotten that smell. Once the Testimony had given him back the memories of Clara, right before his regeneration into her current body, she’d remembered what Clara smelled like and what she looked like. What her laughter sounded like and what her embraces felt like. And how they were a great way to smell her shampoo and feel intoxicated with her scent, so very  _ hers _ . 

“Oh, Doctor...” Clara whispered, her voice somewhat distorted by her jumper, as she held the Doctor even tighter “I’m so sorry... I really am...”

The Doctor gulped but couldn’t prevent the tears from welling up in her eyes and falling down her cheeks, the embrace bringing back memories that had lain dormant inside her. She remembered when she was a tall, grey stick insect as she used to call him, and how nice it felt whenever she hugged him, even when he claimed he was against the hugging. That had been long before the Christmas that changed everything; before they got a second chance and gave their relationship another go. And with patience and time, Clara had taught him how to distinguish between honest, heartfelt hugs and fake ones. She’d taught him how to be more comfortable with physical affection, to be more accepting of himself and his feelings. 

The Doctor was alive and well, all because of Clara. She owed her everything.

“Did it ever stop? The hurting?”

The Doctor pulled her back just a little to see her face. She blinked a few times to dispel the tears and focused on Clara’s eyes, which were as wet as hers. She sniffled quite loudly and gave her a sad smile, her hand cupping her cheek while her thumb wiped away Clara’s tears.

“No. It never does. It felt like someone was tearing my hearts apart...” the Doctor cleared her throat “it became more bearable with this new face” she brushed Clara’s tears, gently stroking her skin with her thumb “but I never forget my companions, my impossible girl” she added softly.

Clara smile and gave her another hug, hiding her face against her jumper, the Doctor held her as tight as she could remember holding her. The memories of the hugs they’d shared were coming back and it was making breathing almost impossible. She gasped, hearing Clara’s gentle shushing close to her, her breath tickling the skin at her neck, and focused on her steady human heartbeat against her chest. 

Once she was calmer Clara let her go and took a step back. The Doctor knew what was coming, but she didn’t want her to, not yet. She had something to tell her.

“Before you go” she rushed to say, grabbing one of her hands “Clara. Just tell him. Don’t delay”

“Tell him what?”

“You know what I’m talking about. Tell him” she whispered with a soft smile “you’ll feel better, I promise. Make the most of your time with him, remember every planet saved, every invasion evaded, every alien you met. And tell him how you feel”

Clara fell silent, her eyes fixing on the floor of the coffee shop. She sniffled and shook her head, brushing her hair away from her face with one hand.

“I’d like to, but I… I don’t know if he... I mean, if you feel... we’ve been through so much together but what if he gets scared, and...”

But the Doctor took a step forward, still holding Clara’s hand, and she placed it on her chest right atop her hearts. She knew Clara could feel her strong pulse in her fingertips, the sound of drums beating against her chest, so different from any human’s. Clara was silent, her eyes watching her hand on top of the Doctor’s chest, carefully cradled by her much larger hand, although not as large as her own Doctor’s.

“I won’t say the words, because you have to hear them from him. All I can say is, don’t be scared, Clara” the Doctor paused, and then took a deep breath “both of these hearts belong to you. My darling, impossible girl”

When she locked eyes with Clara again, tears were running freely down her cheeks, and she pulled her in once again, closing her eyes shut and resting her face against her hair. She inhaled, feeling her own eyes wetting, knowing this would be the last time she would hold her. 

She felt relieved, though. She’d given himself, her previous incarnation, something to cherish for eternity. She tightened her hold on Clara before she could make herself let go.

“By the way, love the new hair” Clara said as they broke the hug and she took a step back, smiling at her and gesturing to her blonde locks. One of her hands took a few strands, gently pushing them behind her ear, her fingertips lingering and brushing the earrings “although I prefer the grey curls”

“I’m sure you do” the Doctor said with a broad smile “go before he finds you here. Or me. He’ll go mad if he does, and we'd better avoid that”

Clara smiled and gave her a last hug, and whispered something in her ear. Words she thought she would never hear again, words that went straight to her hearts.

_ Run you clever girl, and remember me… _

And then, she was gone. The Doctor closed her eyes, her hearts already shattering with the renewed pain of loss, and she sniffled as she felt tears roll down her cheeks. She didn’t stop them. Not even when she felt Yaz’s hand gently holding hers, silently offering her support. She had them. She wasn’t alone, and neither was his previous self. With all the attack eyebrows, bad manners, Scottish gruff and silent brooding, no one except herself knew just how much he had loved Clara. And how much she still did, even in this new face. 

She sighed and looked at her friends, who offered a warm smile. They didn’t know but understood. She could ask no more than that.

“You said once that I never tell you anything about myself, Graham” she whispered a while later, as she made sure she had wiped the remnants of tears off her face. 

The coffee had been drunk and the cold had been kept at bay, it was time to move. The Doctor looked at her friends; all three of them watching her with a mixture of confusion and sympathy.

“Come with me”

The Doctor, followed by her three companions, went outside the coffee shop and stood at a safe distance, behind a line of benches. It was even colder than before and starting to get dark, so there were not many people bustling about the city, even in this central part of town: a few kids running around with skates, and bikes and a few others finishing their errands before surely getting home. That made it easy to spot them. 

Clara was walking decisively towards an old, tall, very angry-looking man with grey curls. He was wearing plaid dark trousers, black boots, a grey T-shirt and a hoodie, and didn’t seem too impressed by the cold breeze.

“She was right all along. I do look like a grey stick-insect” she found herself laughing at Clara’s joke as she looked at himself, just as the man spotted Clara and strode towards her, his eyes a mixture of fear and relief at finding her safe and sound.

“Who is that?” Ryan asked, signalling the man.

“That, Ryan, is me. Me before this face and this body” she answered. As expected, all three of them looked at her like she’d grown another head overnight, and she laughed “you know I’m an alien, I’ve already said that. One of the differences between Time Lord biology and yours is the way we die. We don’t just die, we change into a new body with a new personality, but with our memories intact. And that man you see over there is my old me, the one I was before this. When we met I had just regenerated, that’s why I was still finding my bearings”

“And Clara?”

“She’s... she was...” the Doctor couldn’t bring herself to say the words. It hurt so much to say what Clara had been and was to her exactly, all words fell short to describe the number of feelings she felt inside her hearts.

“She was us. Except she wasn’t, was she, Doc?” Graham said. He walked up to the Doctor and stood next to her, watching to the old Doctor and his Clara as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I know that face, I know those eyes. I’ve seen them before” Graham whispered, his tone of voice soft and understanding “you loved her, didn’t you?”

They all looked at Clara with her Doctor. He was very angrily telling her something, his long arms gesturing and his attack eyebrows wilder than she’d remembered them being when he looked in the mirror, until suddenly he fell silent because Clara was kissing him.  _ Kissing him.  _ The Doctor smiled and tried not to imagine what her lips would feel if kissed by Clara’s.

“I did. Still do” she admitted, his voice full of emotion “but she’s not mine. She’s his”

All four of them observed as the Doctor got over his initial shock and returned the kiss avidly, one of his hands resting against her waist and the other delicately brushing her cheek, as if afraid he’d break her if he did more. When they broke the kiss, they both smiled wildly, their cheeks blushing so much it was visible from where they were standing, as the Doctor placed a very sweet kiss on the tip of Clara’s nose. Then Clara pulled him into a fierce hug, finding a spot right atop his hearts to rest her head. The Doctor’s arms went around her back, pressing her against him and inhaling her hair, much like she had done previously. Like she knew he had wanted to do for a long time, for that smell meant safety. He was  _ home _ .

“Our work is done here” she whispered. 

She saw his previous self looking around until he spotted her. It didn’t take a wild guess to recognize himself, even if it was one of his future faces. The old Doctor smiled, his eyes glistening with blissful unshed tears, and slightly bowed his head in both recognition and gratefulness. She answered with a bow herself, her right hand placed above her hearts as she witnessed the two crazy lovebirds hugging as if the universe outside both of them didn’t exist. 

She turned around and started to walk, hands in her pockets, followed by her friends and making a mental note to thank her smart time machine later. She didn’t need to turn around to know what Clara and her Doctor were feeling. She knew. She was the Doctor after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you're keeping safe.  
> Kudos and comments much much appreciated.  
> If you want, hit me up on twitter and tumblr @memelovescaps
> 
> Have a great day!


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